Updated: Jun 13, 2019
In about two months, I will be turning 21....
Looking back to the twenty years I have been alive, I have learned things that will serve me well for many years to come. I will most likely be throwing a little kickback since it will also be around the time I move into my new house. I will be transforming into a grown bihhh, so of course I have to have a cute outfit and long straight bundles.
I am blessed and every day I wake up I am very thankful. I will say growing up it was very hard for me, but it shaped me into the young women I am today. Here is my list of 20 Things I Have Learned At Twenty.....
1. You cannot trust everyone
This is probably a mistake I have made quite often. My freshmen year of college I made so many friends and I thought that my whole friend group and peers I hung out with were so cool...but later did I find out these people were wack. I originally lived in Atlanta so moving to my campus area was a stretch. It was deffently more dull and the friends I made started to be weird to me the longer time passed. They became weird because these people would be talking shit left and right and yet still be in each others faces.
College was when I really learned people really can suck sometimes. I also learned that having a few is way better than having many fake individuals around you.
I have learned that when people break my trust, I forgive to easily. I believe that it is plenty of people in the world who won't lie to you and treat you very well, so don't waist your time on those who do not truly value their relationship with you.
2. Stay unbothered
Don't pay to much attention to what people may say about you. It is very few opinions that you should pay attention to and take into consideration. Don't let anybody negativity impact you and your day.
Don't ever give people power over you and your emotions. Don't hold back what you feel and what bothers you. Speak up at all times about your feelings. Holding things in will only harm you in the long run.
Remain confident in yourself and tune out what negative people have to say, because their opinions really do not matter in the long run.
3. Remain Humble
I believe this is one of the most important things in life. Be thankful for what you have even if it isn't as much as others. Stay kind and gracious and always help people as much as you can. When you have more than other, remember to remain with a kind heart and always give as much as you can. What goes around, comes around..... give out good and you will receive it back.
Remain calm, even if you feel like people are trying you. When people are saying things you don't like, tune them out and go to a happy place in your head, you then no longer can even hear them.
4. Mind your business
Worry about yourself at all times. If things don't have anything to do with you, stay out of it no matter how juicy it might sound. Messy people just become more messy, don't forget that. Don't surround yourself around people who just gossip, and talk badly about others. Be around people who are positive and communicate about growth. Putting energy into yourself rather than other will help your own self growth. The more you start focusing on yourself the less you will starting crying about that other have going on. Keep your business low-key, and mind your own always.
5. Be kind forever
This world is filled with so many mean people, but you don't have to be one of them. I know some days it might be hard or frustrating but still continue to spread kindness forever. Give more than take, and I believe you will be rewarded throughout your life. When times are hard, keep your head up and I promise you will not regret it. Those who spread evil, will face their consequences sooner or later so be different and be kind.
6. Know how to admit your wrong
I know that I will be stubborn forever..... It took me many years to be able to admit when I am wrong, and I still sometimes struggle doing so. I tend to tune out when people are talking crazy because it helps me to mentally keep it together. Admitting you are wrong is a very important trait to have. It serves you well with many different ways but it also makes you somebody people want to be around.
7. Sometimes you need a blunt
Life is not always easy and I get annoyed probably 10 times a week. Lemme just tell you a blunt is one of the best solutions to a long or annoying day. Sometimes you need to release some stress....so don't judge.
8. Be who you are
This is probably one of the most important things I have learned throughout my 20 years of being alive. You have to be yourself regardless of who you are around.
Some people use to call me lame because I would't always do what people around me were doing but listen you gotta do YOU regardless. Don't loose yourself trying to prove to everybody who you are, because you might be lost forever. The power of being strong and confident is the lack of people who will end up bothering you because they will be intimidated. Stay in your own lane and make sure you always put yourself first.
9. NOOOO kids(for right now)
It's all these young people around me getting pregnant and having kids. Let me just tell you that I will not be one of them any time soon. I never understood why these young ladies that bring children into this world and cannot even take care of them. I have made a promise to myself, that I will have kids when I can give them the world and my full attention. Sometimes people don't realize how permanent some decisions are until they make it, and end up stuck. I have seen some young parents take care of their kids and still be successful, but lemme just tell you ain't no kids any time soon for me.
10. Call yourself beautiful once a day
Self-love is such an important thing. I think you should love youself first before you can have any sort of healthy relationship. To be able to give real love to others, you should believe greatly in yourself first.
Girl you beautiful, sexy and smart and their is nobody on this planet like you...This is just one of the things I remind myself on a daily. Soooo.. be you and forget what everybody thinks.
11. Being busy is not bad
My friends and family complain all the time about how busy I am and how I need more sleep. This honestly doesn't phase me because Imma be a hustler forever. I always want more and I always go and get what I want. I have worked hard all of my life, so if I want ten jobs so be it! As long as you are getting enough sleep to function, that is all that matters. I don't see how my friends don't get bored with their lives because some of them don't be doing shit, and still complain.
Don't listen to what those people say about you being busy and keep getting this bread girl.
12. Don't push your feelings aside
I have a bad habit of this because sometimes I don't want to think about things that make me sad. I like to move on from things and keep it pushing, but this can be bad. You wanna feel your feelings because that can help you get through them in a healthy manor. Speaking up can help you very much with not pushing things to the side. Don't ever hold back your feelings to spare others because in the long run, it will backfire.
13. Don't miss out in the small things in life
This is important to me, because I want to make as many memories as I can, even if I am just doing simple things. The little things matter and they make us who we are. Appreciate every moment of your life and every step you take, because you never know when will be your last. Pay attention to the nice things people do for you and don't take any moments for granted. Live your best life and don't live it with regrets.
Take time out in your day to pause and think or maybe not think at all but just take every moment in. Look around and pay attention to nature and wildlife and realize that you are not always the most important thing around.
14. Make real friends
Try to make friends that you might have for life. Do not waist time on people who might not have your best intentions. Be around humans you can grown and learn from. Laugh as much as possible and spread love.
Kindness and realness is some traits I look for in people. I sometimes have a hard time making friends, but when I do I know they will be around forever. Treat people how you would like to be treated, even when it is hard. Don't always befriend the popular crowd because looks can always be deceiving. Make memories as often as you can.
15. Give back to your community
It is important to remember where you came from. You don't have to hide your success but you can help people out all around you. Doing small things, like maybe helping an older person across the street, or giving a homeless person some money or material goods can go a long way. You never know what just a smile might do to somebody whole day. Spread positivity and kindness into your community as often as you can.
16. Live your best life
Girl put your struggles aside and constantly live your best life. Living your best life can have a variety of different things to go along with it. Don't take what these people say personally because they don't know you like you know yourself. Believe in yourself and drive yourself to be a better person every day. Thank god for your blessings and bless others as much as you can.
Forget what these negative people have to say and just love the skin you are in.
17. Dress how you want
Females these days are so mean and judgmental. I remember I use to get all these mean look on campus because I would either be to dressed up or people would say I wore to much makeup. What I learned is that be yourself regardless of what anybody says. WEAR what the heck you want even if it is a little skimpy, because if you cute then you cute so who cares.
18. Laughing is important
Laugh at least twice a day....why? Because it will make you feel better. Turn on Kevin Heart if you can't find anything to laugh about.
Laughing is good for the heart and soul.
19. Take care of yourself
Worry about your health and take care of your body as much as possible. I try to eat healthy and work out about 4 times a week. The healthier you are the better you will feel. When you look good you will feel good. I learned taking care of your self is so important and if you don't you can have health problems as you grow older.
Some things I do to live a healthier lifestyle...
-eat fruits and veggies
I love watching youtube videos on skincare and how to live the healthiest life possible. There are so many ways to be healthy and to care for yourself so don't give up.
20. Be independent
Do things for yourself. Don't depend on any man or anybody who isn't your family. Get a job and make your own money. Find a passion and try to work towards it. Go out there and meet people and network. Jump out of your comfort zone and try new things.
Every year I became more independent and really started relying on myself.